Grayson walked down a corridor until he saw a glow, coming from a door that was slightly ajar. He crept down the stairs, making sure there was nobody in the room. He began testing the books and boxes for mechanisms, but as he pulled out a box on a high shelf, a vase fell out and fell to the floor. Suddenly he heard pounding footsteps, Grayson stumbled in surprise and fell into a trap door. He saw Rebecca tied and gagged, but as he began untying her, she seemed to be telling him something. He felt a sharp pain in the back of his head when darkness enveloped the room…
Hello! This is a very concise story with lots of detail and action in just 100 words. Super effort. It was great how you created the tension; I almost jumped when the vase fell to the ground. I also really liked how you had Rebecca trying to warn Grayson. This made me feel (as the reader) that I knew something that Grayson didn’t and made me really engaged with the story. Well done.